Have you felt like “the other”? Like you are not the ideal, but rather that your personality needs to be “fixed” so that you are more outgoing?
Growing up, I constantly felt this way and comments like:
“Why are you so quiet?”
“Don’t you have anything to say?”
didn’t help.
Like many introverts, I had a lot to say and I held some very strong opinions.
But like many introverts, I shared them mostly with the people I felt the closest to or kept them to myself. Let’s just say that I had an extremely rich inner life.
In some cultures, it seems like the ideal is to be outgoing, very talkative and assertive. In these cultures, there is a lot of pressure placed on people to be just that.
Children are singled out for “keeping to themselves”, “being quiet” or “not mixing much” and encouraged to participate in more group activities than they might feel comfortable doing.
Now, I don’t deny that the ability to get along with people and communicate effectively is an important life and professional skill to have, but what usually happens is that introverts are assumed to be anti-social or snobbish. This is usually far from the case.
If you are an introvert living in a culture that values introverts, that’s great.
However, if you an introvert living in a culture that devalues your reserve, quiet or need for solitude, it is important that you take stock of and learn to appreciate all of your incredible qualities. This might be your keen powers of observation, your writing skills or your loyalty among many other wonderful qualities.
Draw your confidence and esteem from inside you and not from external factors, which can change with the wind anyway.
It may sound so corny, but learn to love yourself for who are.
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